It Ain’t No Joke

People want things to be simple I guess. No unpleasant scenes. People want to be happy, want to stay happy, and don’t want anything to fuck it up.

Like if there’s a train coming towards you. It’s a real bummer to tell yourself ‘hey, if I stay here on the track I’ll be hit by the train and die horribly’.

Who wants to think about that? Shit, not me.

So you stay there, enjoying the view. Feeling positive, optimistic even. For a while.

So if someone tell’s ya, ‘hey, you’d better move’, then you’re all like:

‘You gotta be kidding me right? Who the fuck are YOU to tell me what to do? Just because you ain’t standing on the tracks you think you can pass judgement on those folks that are? Why don’t you just get a job?”

But it ain’t no joke.

If you stay on the track you’re gonna die.

So what is the track a metaphor for? A metafor phor? Phwoar.

Well, loads of things. Climate change would be the big one of course, but really, what about the bullshit we all put up with every single day?

The people who just keep on pushing our buttons and who we’re too polite to do anything about?

The fact that we can’t even be ourselves without someone making some kind of wise-crack? Like ‘Hey, nice hair, faggot’ or ‘Go back to Russia, commie’

And you just pretend you can’t hear it. Lucky for me I’m partially deaf in one ear so I have a good excuse. And even then it’s all ‘Cripple’ this and ‘spastic’ that.

How many times do people use the word ‘crazy’ to dismiss someone they just plain don’t like because they don’t understand them? I know I do it a lot.

Like ‘man this girl is crazy! She works a job she hates and get’s super-stressed about just to buy overpriced crap she doesn’t need!’

Who knows, maybe I would too, if I had whatever she has going on in her head inside of mine as well. Insecurity. Paranoia. Anxiety. Love of nice-smelling shiny soft things.

But it ain’t no joke.

When you see freedom happen, it’s a beautiful thing. When people help one another to each be as free as possible, by sharing resources they need to be empowered to do the things they each want to do, and when they don’t judge each other or bring one another down. It’s so beautiful in fact that ugly people don’t believe it can possibly be true.

When I say ‘ugly’, I don’t mean just people I wouldn’t have sex with even if you paid me. There’s very few people I WOULD have sex with if you paid me. I got this thing going on now, you see, and I don’t want to screw it up by screwing around.

Ugly, in the sentence above, means cynical, angry, fuckwitted dickheads who are so caught up in not believing in anything and hating themselves that they can’t deal with other people being happy and free. That’s ugly.

Ugly people can be in universities, analysing the shit out of everything so that they feel smug enough to sit around in a bar, pissing on the efforts of revolutionaries and engineers, because it all doesn’t add up to some equation they pulled out of their arse.

Ugly people can be in a different bar, where it’s all about shouting at the TV, looking at people you don’t recognise who walk in the door like you want to kill them, and saying that immigrants are taking the jobs and anyone who says different is a terrorist, but then not even having the conviction to join a far-right group and get beaten up by my friends.

Ugly people can even be in Anarchist squats, throwing boxes of dogshit at people they don’t like and trying to get their most loyal comrades kicked out of their fucking homes for reasons you never bother to explain to them because you’re a cowardly fuck.

So yeah, it’s not so much about where you stand, or where you say you stand. It’s about whether you can stop fretting about the meaningless of life for long enough to stand still and see the beauty that is the freedom people practice all the time, wherever bastards with ugly souls are not around to ruin the fun.

Just be part of it. Grow it. Be free, and help others to be. Otherwise you’re gonna get hit by the train.

Now, people get very cosy in their ugly little souls. They huddle up in them like a cocoon and get afraid of the big bad world out there. Unfurling your wings, breaking through the walls and flying away like a colourful butterfly is often far too much work for some people.

But it ain’t no joke.

Do you want your life to be as shit as it is now forever?

Are you really that jealous of happy people that you aren’t gonna listen to their advice on how to get yourself out of your stupid situation?


The scientists at the Interplanetary Panel on Climate Change have a model they call the ‘happy hippy’ scenario. It’s where people all over the world decide to change their lifestyles so as to stop depending on non-renewable resources like fossil fuels AND nuclear power.

So this could involve, say, not working a stupid job your hate to buy things you don’t really need, and therefore having the free time to produce things, such as food and electricity, for yourself, along with others.

It might also involve, perhaps, not living lives of crippling alienation from your fellow human beings and suffering in silence from the psychological attacks we are daily subjected to by patriarchy, consumerism, wage-labour, and undemocratic power structures, to name just a few.

So basically, it means, everyone, all over the world, trying to be happier than they are now by getting to the roots of the problems our society faces in a holistic way.

So you’d have to have a pretty ugly way of thinking about things to want to discourage people from doing such a thing, right? You’d have to be a real mean son-or-daughter-of-a-bitch to want everyone to keep on suffering needlessly, right?

So of course, the elected leaders of the ugliest countries in the world, where people’s skin is this horrible pasty white colour, are dead against this

So of course, people with enough sense not to give a shit what dickheads like that think, pay no notice and just get on with it anyway.

People learn to love one another, to grow more and more tolerant of all the quirky differences that we all have, to go into our own minds and find out why we weren’t tolerant of those people already and seek to heal our minds so as to be nicer to people all round.

People learn new skills, like how to cook nutritious food for themselves, how to build shelters, use tools,  repair things, how to manage ecosystems in a way that promotes biodiversity, how to occupy land and build political allegiances, settling disputes without having to call the cops, all kinds of stuff.

People are doing it all the time. You may not believe me, if you are just working a job you hate to buy things you don’t need, but they really are, and they would mostly love to welcome you onboard and help you learn all these things too, so long as you don’t turn up acting like a prick and being dismissive of everything you don’t understand.

If you want to vote for whichever politicians lies you find it easier to pretend are the truth and sit back hoping they will somehow divert the tracks of the train, or slow it down with some hidden emergency breaks that no-one noticed were there before, then seriously, you can do that.

I am not gonna stop you. You would probably beat me up if I tried.

All I can say is that I would personally prefer not to get hit by a train, and since you and I are living on the same planet, there is really no option but to get hit by it no matter what I do, so long as the majority of people, including yourself, keep holding on to ugliness.

Seriously. I really do enjoy life, even if you don’t.

It ain’t no joke.

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